Yesterday I had a nap in the afternoon and then had a dream.
In the dream, I was heading home from a trip w/ some people, who were mostly children 6-10 year-olds and 2-3 adults. We were all in a blue,green van singing, chatting, having fun. Also, I felt none of my family members were there — in the van. When we arrived at my house, I felt that we were just going to take some stuff and then were going to go to somewhere else. (I did not know where we would be going, but I just felt to take stuff and left again as soon as possible.) Therefore, I took some things and headed back to the van to continue to our jurney. (Weather Update: It was cloudy, and the sky and the sun were covered by grey, gloomy cloud as the sky which was usually seen in UK. Yet it was surprisingly dry, not wet; nor did it appear it was going to rain.)
When I stepped out my front door, I sensed the present of my best friend in my university, UC Davis, and found myself glancing at her back. She was walking along with me within my reach. (I hadn’t seen her for more than a year.) A tremendous feeling upwelled from the deep of my heart — O, I missed her. Then involuntarily, I reached to her left shoulder with my left hand, tried to turn her around, and did what we often did whe we saw each other — a big hug. She turned toward me, and we embraced. As two cheeks were closing, before right-edge of my lips touched hers, she began to turn transparency. Slowly and eventually, she disappeared in my arms. I sighed, and the sadness overwhelmed me. So within me, I cried her name, Allison. However, I sensed that she was still around. I turned toward the van in front of my house, and once again I saw her back. She was walking toward the van and then got into the back seat (the 3rd row of the mini van). I followed her to the side door of the van and began to shovel those kids so that everyone could have a spot to sit. As I was doing so, I was yelling her name and told her to make room (in a playful manner) until I too got into the back seat (the 2nd row). Everyone was happy, excited, cheerful, joyful (all kinds of good feelings), and was ready to head toward our next destiny.
I woke up and still experienced the feelings as shock waves going throught my body. I sighed and and cried her name again.
Upto this moment, I am still pondering many details of that dream:
1. No fmaily member – why not? 2. Both sadness and joy – so overwhelming. 3. Jurney – where did we go before and where were we going afterward? 4. Children – who were they, and why were they there? 5. Her disappearance and reappearance – why, and what did they mean? 6. Last, she and I partnered again in our jurney – a thing to come or merely a dream?